Friend With A Newborn Pillows

'I never know how much to leave for lunch.'

"Yecch! How can something so sweet put out something so yucky?"

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

A young Don King

Cry babies.

I will study my speling words...

Dog Hunting Trophies.

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

My book report is based on the audio book of the same name.

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'Look. Billy Curry did a nude!'

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

Boys making skis from bits of fence.

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

"11th Grade Math for Nincompoops"

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

Child steps off chair and says, 'Tough crowd.'(Cat looks impassive)

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

'Please Miss, is it where Noah kept his bees?'

Women pay for one hour of uninterrupted sleep.

"My homework is not done because our home modem is tool slow for downloading the answers."

Moms gone wild

To save some cash my parents held my 8th B'day party at Lenny's Tap + Grill....

'Grownups are stupid! How can you be good and have fun?'