Friends Having A Baby Pillows

"Would you like to cut the cord?"

Cry babies.

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

Baby in womb chooses from multiple choice pregnancy symptoms...

'How was I to know that my invisible friend was so rambunctious?'

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

"I didn't realise it could be so complicated!"

"Wow! According to this if I dig straight down I'll find a delivery suite."

"Mom, are you going to properly vet the baby before you bring her home from the hospital?"

Sonographer and pregnant couple looking at images of the fetus on a screen with options to share the image on various social media platforms

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'I'm afraid we don't deliver on Sundays.'

Batman's first Bat Mobile

Childbirth and Covid 19

'...And there's the hands - it looks like - well, it looks like he's texting.'

'When are you going to take it out of its original package?'

Books: Names That Will Make Your Child Hate You!

'I never know how much to leave for lunch.'

Birth canal: Keep clear at all times.

The Ultrasound.

"Keep pushing, I can see the head!"

"Now they tell me there's a departure tax."

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

"Yecch! How can something so sweet put out something so yucky?"

'In the owners manual it's listed as Foetal muzak. I call it gurgling intestines!!'

"We don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl, as long as it’s not annoying."

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'I'm a fully qualified puppeteer!'

"I guess I've got the spirit in me!"

Baby Shower.