Friends With Newborns Pillows

"And the important thing is to make sure you wake them up every hour during the night."

Cry babies.

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

'Have you picked out a domain name, yet?'

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

'I can't wait to embarrass him when he's a teenager.'

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

"Which one's yours?"

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

"We get fantastic indoor facilities during the cold months."

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

"So much for 'sleeping like a baby.'"

Who's a cutey?

"Would you like to cut the cord?"

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

"Let's split up the jobs for taking care of the baby. I'll take care of what goes in to him. . . you take care of what goes out!"

Maternity ward: 'Baby talk spoken here.'

'I never know how much to leave for lunch.'

Doctor Tries to Explain Breast Feeding

"Which one is yours?"

I arrived, I Ate, I Conquered (aka Pooped).

"We named him XB32116 so we never forget the Wi-Fi password."

"I couldn't find the off switch."

"We're already wondering what her legacy might be."

"Yecch! How can something so sweet put out something so yucky?"

'I wonder if they've got wifi here?'

'We want to be ready for when he starts to read.'

Crying parent holds crying baby.