Friends With Newborns Pillows

"And the important thing is to make sure you wake them up every hour during the night."

Cry babies.

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

'Have you picked out a domain name, yet?'

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

"Which one's yours?"

'I can't wait to embarrass him when he's a teenager.'

"We get fantastic indoor facilities during the cold months."

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

Who's a cutey?

"So much for 'sleeping like a baby.'"

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

"Would you like to cut the cord?"

"Let's split up the jobs for taking care of the baby. I'll take care of what goes in to him. . . you take care of what goes out!"

Batman's first Bat Mobile

Maternity ward: 'Baby talk spoken here.'

'I never know how much to leave for lunch.'

Doctor Tries to Explain Breast Feeding

"Which one is yours?"

I arrived, I Ate, I Conquered (aka Pooped).

"We named him XB32116 so we never forget the Wi-Fi password."

"I couldn't find the off switch."

'We want to be ready for when he starts to read.'

'I wonder if they've got wifi here?'

"Yecch! How can something so sweet put out something so yucky?"

"We're already wondering what her legacy might be."