Friend In A Rocky Relationship Gifts

The End is Near...You Wish.

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony. But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike? Of course. That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all. Exactly ... Wait, what do you mean by that?

"Their wedding registry has 8 place settings of double wall, stainless steel water bottles."

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

"It's not good, Jack. She's after the house, the condo, custody, half your retirement $ 12,000 a month and she still wants a pound of flesh."

"And the person who made all those promises, this man you loved, trusted and ran away with, who subsequently stole your life savings and then abandoned you... is he in the courtroom today?"

'If cupid shot me with his arrow this week, it would bounce right off!'

'Hell hath no furry like the lawyer of a woman scorned.'

Bartender: 'Rough day, huh?'Man: 'I'll say. My ex-wife just sued the pants off me.'

"So let me see... for your last will you have decided to bequeath all your unpaid tax bills to your ex husband."

Cashflow - The milkman is here.

'He grew on me and he's been watering himself ever since!'

Hard Hat Area: Marriage Guidance Bureau.

"I'm leaving and I'm taking your iTunes with me."

"Please excuse my appearance, but I don't have anywhere to wash and shave since my wife threw me out."

"Then again, counselling doesn't always help everyone."

"The curse has been set – your ex's shoes will now squeak in the quietest of settings."

"It's not a rescue, it's the IRS and my ex-wife's lawyer."

"You may not like what I've dug out, but you did ask me to snoop into your husband!"

'Don't feel bad - some guys lose everything.'

'I'm sorry Roger, it's not you, it's the way you move, it's just so bizarre.'

"Perhaps it was thoughtless of me, perhaps not. I haven't given it much thought."

"We never talk anymore...except thru your lawyer."

"'Vengeance is ours,' saith Courtland, Mumford & Blaine."

"If you had to choose between your husband and a million dollars...what would you buy?"

'It's a guide for married couples called Love Without Sex.'

Do I have grounds for a divorce? You're married...you have grounds.

Breaking up is hard to do. Well, most of the time.

'What a lovely card.' 'Yes, and it's made from recycled paper. Which is apprpriate considering you're on the rebound.'

"The only dancing my husband ever did was sidestepping responsibility."

'Tunnel of divorce'

"My marriage has broken up. Well, half broken up. I'm still here."

'I'd like to get rid of him. Is there an app for that?'

"Ok. Agreed. She'll get the frisbee and rubber ball and you get to keep the bone."