Friend In A Complicated Relationship Gifts

"Truth be known, I don't miss him at all!"

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

"Their wedding registry has 8 place settings of double wall, stainless steel water bottles."

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

"It's not good, Jack. She's after the house, the condo, custody, half your retirement $ 12,000 a month and she still wants a pound of flesh."

"And the person who made all those promises, this man you loved, trusted and ran away with, who subsequently stole your life savings and then abandoned you... is he in the courtroom today?"

'Hell hath no furry like the lawyer of a woman scorned.'

"So let me see... for your last will you have decided to bequeath all your unpaid tax bills to your ex husband."

Bartender: 'Rough day, huh?'Man: 'I'll say. My ex-wife just sued the pants off me.'

The End is Near...You Wish.

"It's not a rescue, it's the IRS and my ex-wife's lawyer."

"Then again, counselling doesn't always help everyone."

Hard Hat Area: Marriage Guidance Bureau.

"Please excuse my appearance, but I don't have anywhere to wash and shave since my wife threw me out."

"You may not like what I've dug out, but you did ask me to snoop into your husband!"

"The curse has been set – your ex's shoes will now squeak in the quietest of settings."

'Don't feel bad - some guys lose everything.'

'I'm sorry Roger, it's not you, it's the way you move, it's just so bizarre.'

Do I have grounds for a divorce? You're married...you have grounds.

'What a lovely card.' 'Yes, and it's made from recycled paper. Which is apprpriate considering you're on the rebound.'

"'Vengeance is ours,' saith Courtland, Mumford & Blaine."

"We never talk anymore...except thru your lawyer."

A man hugs a heart-shaped cactus

"Perhaps it was thoughtless of me, perhaps not. I haven't given it much thought."

'I'm so embarrassed driving such a filthy vehicle...'

'It's a guide for married couples called Love Without Sex.'

"If you had to choose between your husband and a million dollars...what would you buy?"

Breaking up is hard to do. Well, most of the time.

"The only dancing my husband ever did was sidestepping responsibility."

'Tunnel of divorce'

"I think we should see other people."

"My marriage has broken up. Well, half broken up. I'm still here."

"It's not you. It's me."

"How was I to know that our relationship was Biodegradable?"