Fortune Cookie Skeptics Pillows

Ed had always despised fortune cookies.

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

Fortune cookies based on various business magazines.

'Our businessman's special includes fortune cookies filled with stock tips'

Lottery - come back to eat here 20 times and you will win million dollar in lottery.

'My crystal ball is in the shop. Pick a fortune cookie.'

Mine says, 'Blaming China won't work.'

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

"Either the fortune cookie cutter failed, or you have a lot of issues you're not telling your mother about."

'It says I forgot my wallet.'

Chinese Novel Cookie

'My fortune says you're a liar, so I won't even ask what yours says.'

'This fortune cookie says, 'You will have good luck investing in emerging markets, fortune cookie & Chopstick Trading Company of Singapore.''

"In an effort to avoid controversy, and to accommodate our attention spans, we will be replacing the commencement speaker with fortune cookies."

'I'm a fortune teller Phillip. Music is going to mark a key moment in your life.'

The day the dinosaurs died...'There's no fortunes in any of these!'

'See many bathroom breaks in near future after eating Moo Goo Gai Pan.'

Misfortune cookies

'That's weird. All this fortune cookie says is 'look out!''

"Let me get this straight - You're divorcing him because of a fortune cookie message?"

Change in imminent

Man reading fortune cookie: 'Hey, cool - it's an up-to-the-minute stock report.'

'Yahoo! It says 'Your wife is going to collect a large sum of insurance money!''

"Is this a trick question?"

'Okay, mine says, 'Eat healthier foods. The current health care system really sucks.''

"By opening this cookie you are agreeing to whatever terms..."

Chinese Cuisine. I think that hedge fund manager misplaced his after-meal cookie. That would be the second fortune he lost.

Nostradamus's secret is almost exposed.

"It says. . . 'That wasn't chicken.'"

'No fortune cookies please - I don't want to get my hopes up.'

"I'm beginning to question your business decision-making, Perkins."

Korean Cuisine: Sorry our fortune cookies offer no solutions for the north Korean missile problem.

Waiter, I specifically requested a fortune cookie containing a stock tip.

IBM sells personal computer business to China.