Anti-fortune Cookie Enthusiast Pillows

'No fortune cookies please - I don't want to get my hopes up.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"I can't give you a prescription for milk and cookies."

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

Do you have any cookies you aren't using?

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

'It'll never work. I'm reading 'Of Mice And men' and you haven't even gotten through 'If You Give A Mouse A Cookie,.'

Miracle Mom #5,293

"Mom said eat everything in moderation, so I renamed the cookie jar 'Moderation.'"

Santa looking at a plate of cookies and a bottle of hand sanitizer

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

"Roadkill cookies"

Cookie Surveillance

Fortune cookies based on various business magazines.

Ginger's bakery: Our Cookies Snap!

"I don't know, Doc, it's just that lately I've been feeling crummy!"

"I'll fill it with Play Doh and no one will ever know the difference."

What if retail stores behaved like websites?

'Well, they're just like your mom's cookies if your mom is a 35 ton, multi-unit dough extruder.'

'We seem to have more luck getting people to accept cookies rather than broccoli when they visit websites.'

"I'll give you a cookie if you promise to paint me as a pillar among women in your future memoir."

Mine says, 'Blaming China won't work.'

If you give a mouse a french cookie

Girl Scout cookies selling the girl scout.

"... ad that's when I got into the harder stuff, biscotti."

M.D. I suppose that will be okay, but no more milk and cookies starting tomorrow.

"I don't really think you're cut out for this job..."

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'

(No caption). Woman looks at cookie sheet which contains two cookies. One is a frowning gingerbread man whose arm, leg and part of its stomach have been bitten off. The second cookie is a smiling gingerbread man who has a very full stomach.

"Who wants to help Grandma make her famous gingerbread man cookies? You kids get the flour, eggs, and sugar, and I'll get the protoplasm and epithelial tissue."

"The cookies are always stale."

"That's just great! Enough with the public displays of affection!"

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'