Cookie Fanatic Pillows

'Well, they're just like your mom's cookies if your mom is a 35 ton, multi-unit dough extruder.'

"I don't care how much I own – there's still something unsatisfying about digital Girl Scout Thin Mints."

Who do you think you're kidding! There's no such thing as "Gull Scout Cookies."

Cookie Overeaters Anonymous

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

Ice Cream Surgeon

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

"I can't give you a prescription for milk and cookies."

Punt Cake

'I'm going to make a batch of my ginger biscuits.'

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"Oh boy! Mom made microchip cookies!"

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

Do you have any cookies you aren't using?

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

Panettone

"Sis, my teacher said to list the four food groups. . . but I can only think of three. Cookies, candy and ice cream!"

Baking

'Mom's baking finally allowed us to diversify and greatly increase our neighborhood market share.'

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

"Let's just say the chocolate chip cookie diet isn't working."

"I knew we'd eventually catch him. He can't run and run as fast as he once did."

"It's our most popular gift - a helium cookie."

'It'll never work. I'm reading 'Of Mice And men' and you haven't even gotten through 'If You Give A Mouse A Cookie,.'

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

Miracle Mom #5,293

"Mom said eat everything in moderation, so I renamed the cookie jar 'Moderation.'"

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

"Roadkill cookies"