Cookie Fanatic Gifts

'Well, they're just like your mom's cookies if your mom is a 35 ton, multi-unit dough extruder.'

"I don't care how much I own – there's still something unsatisfying about digital Girl Scout Thin Mints."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

Ice Cream Surgeon

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

"I can't give you a prescription for milk and cookies."

Punt Cake

'I'm going to make a batch of my ginger biscuits.'

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"Oh boy! Mom made microchip cookies!"

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

Do you have any cookies you aren't using?

Panettone

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"Sis, my teacher said to list the four food groups. . . but I can only think of three. Cookies, candy and ice cream!"

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

Baking

'Mom's baking finally allowed us to diversify and greatly increase our neighborhood market share.'

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

"It's our most popular gift - a helium cookie."

"Let's just say the chocolate chip cookie diet isn't working."

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

Miracle Mom #5,293

"Mom said eat everything in moderation, so I renamed the cookie jar 'Moderation.'"

"I was going to share my cookies with teddy, but he's on a diet....so I had to eat them all."

"Made with a little extra TLC – and THC for good measure."

Instant Gratification Cafe.

'Prepare to meet your maker!'

' I let you think it's your ides...then I agree with you.'

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'