Forgetfulness Humor Appreciating Spouse Gifts

'My, doesn't time fly? I can hardly believe it's been a year since you last forgot our anniversary!'

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

"What do you mean, there's no room for my stuff?"

"Oh dear, how embarrassing!"

'I've been offered early retirement but my wife won't let me take it.'

"Let me guess...you forgot to put their hand-brakes on!"

'What seems to be the problem?'

"Yes, we know them. We like them, but we're not crazy about, you know, the other him."

'Not that insect, silly! That's my husband.'

"Are you going to move?"

"And they all said, twenty five years ago, that our trial seperation wouldn't last!!"

"This is a good start! You both agree that the marriage needs some new spark!"

Google Translate for Marriagese

"I don't like this hot dish."

"Where has the magic gone, George?"

"What ever happened to 'Never go to bed angry'?"

"You've been ages,dear-but never mind I've been patiently waiting in the pub accross the road!"

'I don't mind him smoking in bed. . .But not herrings.'

'I wish you wouldn't refer to me as your running mate!'

'Then we agree - I'll slap a gag order on your wife, and you slap a gag order on my wife.'

Angry wife and a drunken husband will need medical assistance.

Wife to doctor about husband: 'It was a freak accident. He was doing some work on the house.'

"Ah, honey?" "Yes, sweetheart?" "You've left it in the drawer again."

"My wife got the sails in the divorce."

"He complains like a kid over a minor cold. He's such a groan man!"

'Look, just shut up about the caravan will you - it's too late to go back for it now...!'

Lateral thinking...thought bubble bypassing wife's head.

"Wake up Jeff. You're snoring again!"