Forgetfulness Humor Appreciating Spouse Prints

'My, doesn't time fly? I can hardly believe it's been a year since you last forgot our anniversary!'

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

"What do you mean, there's no room for my stuff?"

"Oh dear, how embarrassing!"

'I've been offered early retirement but my wife won't let me take it.'

"Let me guess...you forgot to put their hand-brakes on!"

"Are you going to move?"

"Yes, we know them. We like them, but we're not crazy about, you know, the other him."

'Not that insect, silly! That's my husband.'

"And they all said, twenty five years ago, that our trial seperation wouldn't last!!"

'What seems to be the problem?'

"This is a good start! You both agree that the marriage needs some new spark!"

Google Translate for Marriagese

'I wish to lose all excess weight.'

"What ever happened to 'Never go to bed angry'?"

"Where has the magic gone, George?"

"Look, I've already told you. There's not enough room in the saucer to abduct your wife."

"You've been ages,dear-but never mind I've been patiently waiting in the pub accross the road!"

"I don't like this hot dish."

'I don't mind him smoking in bed. . .But not herrings.'

"I'm sure it's a false alarm - my husband must have the leak fixed by now."

'I wish you wouldn't refer to me as your running mate!'

Is it true that a goldfish has a memory of just a few seconds? Don't recall. Hey, Ernie, whose turn is it to sleep in the castle? Don't recall. Maybe we should flip a rock for it. Sure. Okay, I'll be the flat side and you be the round side. What are we flipping for? Not sure. I'm exhausted. Let's call it a day. Whose turn is it to sleep in the castle. Don't recall.

Wife to doctor about husband: 'It was a freak accident. He was doing some work on the house.'

'Then we agree - I'll slap a gag order on your wife, and you slap a gag order on my wife.'

"My wife got the sails in the divorce."

Angry wife and a drunken husband will need medical assistance.

"Ah, honey?" "Yes, sweetheart?" "You've left it in the drawer again."

"He complains like a kid over a minor cold. He's such a groan man!"

'Look, just shut up about the caravan will you - it's too late to go back for it now...!'

Lateral thinking...thought bubble bypassing wife's head.

"Oh, it was fun for awhile, but then she started getting under MY skin."

"Wake up Jeff. You're snoring again!"