Marriage Humor Appreciator Gifts

"Oh, it was fun for awhile, but then she started getting under MY skin."

"I'm sure it's a false alarm - my husband must have the leak fixed by now."

"He's fine as long as I take my medication."

"We have what you young people might call an old-fashioned marriage—we are not best friends."

"This is a good start! You both agree that the marriage needs some new spark!"

Wife to doctor about husband: 'It was a freak accident. He was doing some work on the house.'

'Preston, if you're making faces at me, save it for the Halloween party.'

'You can call off the search now -- I remarried.'

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

Try Mediation

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

"So, what you're telling me is: I have unusually high negatives for a third-year husband..."

Their relationship was doomed to fail. She was frigid, and his arms were too short to rub one out.

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

"What do you mean, there's no room for my stuff?"

His and Hers Wedding

'Butch, did you shoot my liberty valance?'

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I've decided to secede from our marriage."

'Great sermon, Reverend! Too bad my husband couldn't stay awake to hear it.'

'In sickness and in health, under affordable health care or unaffordable. . .'

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'

'Good news Darling You've received loads of bids,,,'

"The best things in life are free. The rest are married."

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

"Let's take in a trial."

"Happy anniversary, dear. How about a second honeymoon?" "Sure. Who with?"

'I told you he had a temper.'

'It started with between-meal snacks -- now he's having between-snack noshes.'

"No heroic measures."

"We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone."

"Hang on, I'll get him for you."

'My wife likes it when I help out in the kitchen.'

'I don't want anything for myself...But if it's not too much trouble, please send my mother a son-in-law who's a Doctor...'