Forgetful Spouse Humor Gifts

'Brenda Hobbs thanking you for the birthday card you send me. Yes, it was the only card I got this year.'

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"So, what you're telling me is: I have unusually high negatives for a third-year husband..."

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'Great sermon, Reverend! Too bad my husband couldn't stay awake to hear it.'

'Good news Darling You've received loads of bids,,,'

"Let's take in a trial."

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

"You know you're getting old when you need a hearing aid to hear your bones creak."

"Oh dear, how embarrassing!"

"You say that I love the Liverpool football team more than I love you?...."

'I do wish you'd use the study when you work from home.'

'I've been offered early retirement but my wife won't let me take it.'

"Let me guess...you forgot to put their hand-brakes on!"

'Cheers, it's worth the domestic hassle.'

"You're lucky your garden failed. If I'd had to can it, it would've been your marriage."

'My interest in gardening backfired when I married a couch potato.'

"That's O.K., I'll go—'m dressed."

'This always seems to happen on your night to cook.'

"Are you going to move?"

'What seems to be the problem?'

'I wish to lose all excess weight.'

'How was I to know that you don't like Marzipan?'

'My, doesn't time fly? I can hardly believe it's been a year since you last forgot our anniversary!'

'I should have listened to my mother. . . when she said you were immature.'

Your nose used to light up and buzz when I touched you.

"Where has the magic gone, George?"

"You've been ages,dear-but never mind I've been patiently waiting in the pub accross the road!"

'They're like ice! You're like a giant vampire bat sucking the warmth out of me!'

'This is my new husband Gregory -- I don't quite have all the bugs out of him yet.'

"I don't like this hot dish."

"I said I was sorry. No need to bite my head off!"

"I thought you were organizing my stuff."

'I don't mind him smoking in bed. . .But not herrings.'

"Do you know how distracting it is when you spin the chamber on that revolver?"