Forgetful Spouse Humor Pillows

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"So, what you're telling me is: I have unusually high negatives for a third-year husband..."

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'Great sermon, Reverend! Too bad my husband couldn't stay awake to hear it.'

"Let's take in a trial."

"You know you're getting old when you need a hearing aid to hear your bones creak."

"Oh dear, how embarrassing!"

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

'I've been offered early retirement but my wife won't let me take it.'

'I do wish you'd use the study when you work from home.'

"Let me guess...you forgot to put their hand-brakes on!"

'What seems to be the problem?'

"You're lucky your garden failed. If I'd had to can it, it would've been your marriage."

'My interest in gardening backfired when I married a couch potato.'

"Are you going to move?"

'Cheers, it's worth the domestic hassle.'

'This always seems to happen on your night to cook.'

"That's O.K., I'll go—'m dressed."

'How was I to know that you don't like Marzipan?'

"I said I was sorry. No need to bite my head off!"

'My, doesn't time fly? I can hardly believe it's been a year since you last forgot our anniversary!'

"You've been ages,dear-but never mind I've been patiently waiting in the pub accross the road!"

'This is my new husband Gregory -- I don't quite have all the bugs out of him yet.'

'They're like ice! You're like a giant vampire bat sucking the warmth out of me!'

'I should have listened to my mother. . . when she said you were immature.'

"I don't like this hot dish."

"I thought you were organizing my stuff."

'I don't mind him smoking in bed. . .But not herrings.'

"Where has the magic gone, George?"

'Oh for crying out loud, so there's a spider in the bathtub!!'

"Do you know how distracting it is when you spin the chamber on that revolver?"