Frustrated Spouse Humor Pillows

'What seems to be the problem?'

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"So, what you're telling me is: I have unusually high negatives for a third-year husband..."

"I love what you've done with him."

'Great sermon, Reverend! Too bad my husband couldn't stay awake to hear it.'

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

"This new system is too complex...pass it on."

"Let's take in a trial."

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

"You know you're getting old when you need a hearing aid to hear your bones creak."

'Is that computer, down there, the one you were having problems with?'

'I've been offered early retirement but my wife won't let me take it.'

'I do wish you'd use the study when you work from home.'

'My interest in gardening backfired when I married a couch potato.'

'Cheers, it's worth the domestic hassle.'

Music Quiz

"You're lucky your garden failed. If I'd had to can it, it would've been your marriage."

"That's O.K., I'll go—'m dressed."

'This always seems to happen on your night to cook.'

"Every time I think we've sorted our marriage problems out, he comes home again!"

'How was I to know that you don't like Marzipan?'

'I should have listened to my mother. . . when she said you were immature.'

'I don't mind him smoking in bed. . .But not herrings.'

"Where has the magic gone, George?"

"I said I was sorry. No need to bite my head off!"

'My, doesn't time fly? I can hardly believe it's been a year since you last forgot our anniversary!'

'Is there a lemon law for husbands?'

"You've been ages,dear-but never mind I've been patiently waiting in the pub accross the road!"

'They're like ice! You're like a giant vampire bat sucking the warmth out of me!'

'This is my new husband Gregory -- I don't quite have all the bugs out of him yet.'

Roach Motel

"I don't like this hot dish."