Forecast Skeptic Gifts

'They did it again - not a word in the weather report about an ice age.'

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

Company sales forecast mirrors the weather

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

'I hate all holidays!'

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

"Remember that optimistic, slightly crazy, throw a dart at the wall forecast? We beat it."

'Whenever they discuss trickle-down economics, I have to go to the bathroom.'

'Okay, let the minutes show we're not absconding with the money until the economy improves...'

"Well in our defence we did get the numbers right they were just in the wrong order!"

'I have trouble believing in global warming when it's so cold that my nipples and p***s are the same size.'

'Following your 'barbecue summer' forecast, I'm revising predictions of your contract being reviewed.'

"What the hell happened to this town?"

'If America's economy is so bad how can we afford a billion dollars on presidential campaigns?'

'I've been in Washington for 30 years, and that's the biggest rathole I'VE ever seen!'

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

"We apparently exceeded our expectations but, do any of you remember what they were?"

This horse isn't dead. It's just sleeping.

"Get a move on Hardwicke, we need it for the 6 o'clock news!"

If middle-age birthday cards were honest...

We lost money in every division, but through the magic of accounting, our Take A Penny Leave A Penny trays earned $46 million.

'Exactly what the forecast on telly.'

"The bottom line is that we're going out on our bottoms!"

'Great speech on the future of the economy. You said nothing with great conviction.'

Never mind spring. What do you predict for the economy?

'In an effort to make our economic reporting and projections more accurate, our resident weatherman will be delivering the economic news.'

Making isobar map with elastic bands.

Weather prediction is guesswork.

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'

Bruce The Unhelpful Weatherman

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

"That's our projected sales."