Forecast Skeptic Pillows

'They did it again - not a word in the weather report about an ice age.'

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

Company sales forecast mirrors the weather

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

'I hate all holidays!'

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

"Remember that optimistic, slightly crazy, throw a dart at the wall forecast? We beat it."

'Okay, let the minutes show we're not absconding with the money until the economy improves...'

'Whenever they discuss trickle-down economics, I have to go to the bathroom.'

"Well in our defence we did get the numbers right they were just in the wrong order!"

'I have trouble believing in global warming when it's so cold that my nipples and p***s are the same size.'

"What the hell happened to this town?"

'If America's economy is so bad how can we afford a billion dollars on presidential campaigns?'

What makes the flies in your soup "artisanal"? I know, right? Personally, I think it's just a lot of hype perpetrated by the flies. Menu.

'Following your 'barbecue summer' forecast, I'm revising predictions of your contract being reviewed.'

'I've been in Washington for 30 years, and that's the biggest rathole I'VE ever seen!'

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

This horse isn't dead. It's just sleeping.

"We apparently exceeded our expectations but, do any of you remember what they were?"

"The bottom line is that we're going out on our bottoms!"

"Get a move on Hardwicke, we need it for the 6 o'clock news!"

The science doesn't prove global warming. Stop the fraud. So why save gas because bad things "might" happen in 50 years? Global warming is hot air. Because we're going broke importing oil from countries that hate us today? Lemme see our talking points. Global warming is hot air.

'Exactly what the forecast on telly.'

'Great speech on the future of the economy. You said nothing with great conviction.'

We lost money in every division, but through the magic of accounting, our Take A Penny Leave A Penny trays earned $46 million.

If middle-age birthday cards were honest...

Never mind spring. What do you predict for the economy?

'In an effort to make our economic reporting and projections more accurate, our resident weatherman will be delivering the economic news.'

Making isobar map with elastic bands.

Weather prediction is guesswork.

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'

"That's our projected sales."