Forecasting Fanatic Pillows

The Honesty Channel's Weather Forecast

'How long did you say you have been a weather forecaster?'

'What's the normal temperature for this time of the year?'

Corbin The Esitmator

Pipe Dream

'Our market analysis is in.'

'Substitute weatherman.'

'Congratulations on winning Weather Forecaster of the Year, you rotten swine!'

"That man's a legend in this office. He has 100% accuracy in predicting the past."

"Mind you, they did say it would be cloudy."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Profit

Jack of all trades

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'We're under capitalized. As soon as we reach the break even point we'll buy a lemon.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"#Win!"

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

Company sales forecast mirrors the weather

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

World Economic Crisis.

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'