Forecasting Fanatic Gifts

The Honesty Channel's Weather Forecast

'How long did you say you have been a weather forecaster?'

'What's the normal temperature for this time of the year?'

Corbin The Esitmator

Pipe Dream

'Our market analysis is in.'

'Substitute weatherman.'

'Congratulations on winning Weather Forecaster of the Year, you rotten swine!'

"That man's a legend in this office. He has 100% accuracy in predicting the past."

"Mind you, they did say it would be cloudy."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Jack of all trades

Profit

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

Today we'll see some misused or misunderstood financial and economic terms. It's said inflation can hurt the economy. But it's absolutely in the tire business. I bought this warm puffy jacket with cash. A down payment. We like beer and coffee. Our most valuable liquid assets. In a monopoly breakup, the race car would to go one person and the dog to another. And when I become either a buyer or a seller. He's shorting the market!

'We're under capitalized. As soon as we reach the break even point we'll buy a lemon.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

Annual profits,

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"#Win!"

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

Company sales forecast mirrors the weather

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

World Economic Crisis.

'When investment bankers give parental advice'