Football Joker Gifts

Kev's initial excitement as the club's new Sweeper suddenly dwindled.

'Red card.'

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

Pirate and His Peg Legs.

Banana Split...

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

Get crazy once in a while

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

Jogging Bottoms

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

Here lies BoBo the Clown

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

Footballer changes shirt with the ref.

"I've been telling everyone how athletic you are."

Toilet humour

False encouragement.

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'

No infrastructure problem here

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

"He must like you. He wants you to share his whoopie cushion."

A clown & his clone.

AL'S GYM, 'We're going to make a new man of you!' 'Will he have new credit cards?'

'Jim I don't think you have quite go this 'Iron Man Challenge' thing.'

'Now, for the lighter side of the news'