Football Joker Pillows

Kev's initial excitement as the club's new Sweeper suddenly dwindled.

'Red card.'

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

Pirate and His Peg Legs.

Banana Split...

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

Hell Separates Real Madrid and Barcelona fans.

Get crazy once in a while

'Hole in one!!!!'

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

Jogging Bottoms

Golfer wears 'How's my driving?' t-shirt.

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

Toilet humour

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'

"I've been telling everyone how athletic you are."

Here lies BoBo the Clown

Footballer changes shirt with the ref.

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

False encouragement.

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'

No infrastructure problem here

"Now go home and forget about your amnesia..."

'A room with double beds, please.'