Golf Joker Pillows

'I may have to borrow some balls if we play eighteen.'

'Please! Take these and let my buddy go!!'

"Oh, no! No! Not there!!"

Banana Split...

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

'Hole in one!!!!'

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

Jogging Bottoms

Golfer wears 'How's my driving?' t-shirt.

'The English player has hit the net more times than the entire England team in the football World Cup!'

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

Bicycle Sidecar.

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

'I don't know what happened. He was hired as a consultanat, but he evolved into a kibitzer.'

Very drunk professional cyclist

"I've been telling everyone how athletic you are."

Footballer changes shirt with the ref.

"Let's change table stakes to vacation days."

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'

Putt-putt. Drive-Drive. (Two minature golf courses. Golfer at first hits putt. Golfer at second is hit in head by golfball that has been hit as a drive.)

False encouragement.

AL'S GYM, 'We're going to make a new man of you!' 'Will he have new credit cards?'

'Jim I don't think you have quite go this 'Iron Man Challenge' thing.'

'The pro told me my score of 392 is a course record!'

Tred carefully mill.

His Other Shtick

'First time I've seen the club go farther than the ball.'

Running With Scissors Marathon

Will sneak through the woods and throw your ball back into the fairway.