Golf Course Jokers Pillows

'Gloria, tell my nine-o'clock to go to hell.'

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'Hole in one!!!!'

'I don't think there's any hope for my golf game.'

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

Helicopter dropping golf balls onto a green.

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

Putt-putt. Drive-Drive. (Two minature golf courses. Golfer at first hits putt. Golfer at second is hit in head by golfball that has been hit as a drive.)

"Remember when we were young and could finish a round without one of us having to run off to mark his territory?"

'Wait! Better give me the big one.'

Golf Score Reducer

Golf Hil Divot

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

Dieter Miller veloped the talking golf ball to call out when lost in the rough. But... (ouch, ouch, ouch)

"I enjoy the game so much more since they invented the self-driving ball!"

Golf Myth #293--Ball Washer

"I've never seen a gimme taken on a fareway before."

'Please! Take these and let my buddy go!!'

"In this situation, I'd suggest a 5-word sentence with an action verb but hold the exclamation mark."

Tiger Woods, on his way to his 1st golf tournament.

'One of the quickest ways to meet people is to pick up the wrong ball.'

Will sneak through the woods and throw your ball back into the fairway.

'I remember Rod when he used to strike footballs into the crowd!'

"Oooh! I never knew your butt could move like that, honey!"

"... And how much am I bid for this set of, John McEnroe's golf clubs?"

For a $50 payoff, Dwayne would agree not to follow a foursome around all 18 holes.

"Hurry up Ted, or are you going to spend all day in that bunker?"

Jurassic Par.

'Vodka!'