Foodie With A Flair For Photography Gifts

'Can you suggest something that will photograph well for a Facebook posting?'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"You got maybe one that smells like cheese blintzes frying?"

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

"Excuse me, but could you ask the chef to make this a little more photogenic?"

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

'Mom, the donut is drinking my milk!'

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

"It's Chicken Mole!"

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

"Two questions: What time are the guests arriving, and do you still want me to slice the pepperoni?"

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

'Are you sure you don't have any Indian blood?.'

'I'm very impressed that you ordered the entire meal in French. Pity it's a Chinese restaurant...'

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

"Lumpy? Of course it's lumpy! Sweetbread soup is meant to be lumpy."

'My husband will order the wine. He happens to be a graduate of the 3-Second Master of Wine program.'

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

Cooking With Pollock.

"Now, what? I'm wearing a hair net."

'Are they fat free, low carb, high fibre and organic?'

'It had taken some time, but the finding of a spaghetti junction brought immense satisfaction.'

'In case of emergency, break glass.'

'Given the date, they must be organic.'

"Take your time. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

'Monsieur, in this café you've got to dance your order.'

'You're cute when you blow your cool.'

"Excuse me but it's our food, can you make it sexy?"

"The butter-poached lobster with melted leeks and horseradish creme fraiche...you want that in a wrap?"