Foodie Photog Gifts

"I am off duty, but the body cam allows me to discreetly take photos of my meal."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

Movie Awards. Winner. It's been a big night for Ernie! He won three times at the movie-set caterer awards! On one set he made a healthy, refreshing beverage that received rave reviews from the cast and crew. He won the "best pitcher" award for it. Did they say he won for best costumes? No, his dressings won. His sticky buns won also. For "best leading roll" performance, right? No, for best "cinnamontography"!

"Excuse me, but could you ask the chef to make this a little more photogenic?"

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

Avocado Timeline

"My instagram feed is basically people, dog food, and tennis balls."

"I'll have the sticky rack of ribs for my main course and something vegan for my Instagram post."

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

'Amazing this pizza looks just like a brain scan of someone who's experiencing apophenia'

"Something photogenic for each of us."

Artist and chiken

"In this restaurant, quality control means I must approve every picture you take of the food."

"Isn't it enough we tip well? Must we also like him on Facebook and follow him on Twitter?"

"To prevent any complaints like "when will our ordered food be served" guests can now follow the work in the kitchen on TV."

"Just a heads-up, the Mushroom and Crab Risotto doesn't like its photo taken."

"I wonder how many Facebook likes I'll get."

"The food was terrible, but my wife said it photographed well."

"Omigod! It's the breakfast I made him for his birthday!"

"Why don't we just take photos of other people's food and order whatever gets the most Facebook likes?"

You still working on that?

"Just eat me, you intolerable pervert!"

"I don't like the food here, but the photos I paot make my friends envious."

Have you noticed how chefs have replaced hairdressers in the social pages?

"I'm watching my sugar intake."

"Would it be possible to change this to something more instagrammable?"

Stock photography

Do you do portraits as well?

Craft A Yummy, Grammable Cocktail.

Food Photography

"I'm a little disappointed. Tastes fine, but not very photogenic."

"Did you get the Gundersons' pics of their Caribbean cruise?"