Food Photo Fanatic Gifts

"Is there something wrong with your food?"

"The taste was fine, but the presentation only got me 5 likes."

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

Counting ribs

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Kitchen Kapers

Important Food Groups

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

Benihana style of cooking.

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

The Streets - Night

Burnt or Raw?

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"Excuse me, but could you ask the chef to make this a little more photogenic?"

North Fork, the town too tough to diet.

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

"As you can guess, Rico is my role model."

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

Avocado Timeline

Will work for Food Network.

A convenient attack of swine flu...

"My instagram feed is basically people, dog food, and tennis balls."

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."