Food Photo Enthusiast Gifts

"I'm a little disappointed. Tastes fine, but not very photogenic."

"This phone has so many pictures of food, my ringtone is a burp."

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

Your lobster was off!

"How fresh is the calamari?"

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

'It's my favorite.'

'Strong curry for two and a fire-extinguisher.'

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

'And that's how to make pancakes.'

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

"Save yourself — it’s a casserole!"

"Then add one extra large egg..."

The Huge-Underground Vat theory of why all wonton soup tastes exactly the same.

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

"The fish - will it be the market price at the time of ordering, the time of eating or the time of paying?"

Avocado Timeline

"My instagram feed is basically people, dog food, and tennis balls."

"What would you recommend pairing with the school of cod fish?"

"I'll have the sticky rack of ribs for my main course and something vegan for my Instagram post."

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

"It's your ribs. I'm afraid they're delicious."

'Amazing this pizza looks just like a brain scan of someone who's experiencing apophenia'

'It's one of those trendy 'warm salads,' with sausage, fried eggs, bacon and black pudding.'

Mediterranean Martini

"They're doing wonderful things with food I hate."

"You think you're so damn Cordon Bleu!"