Food Photography Enthusiast Gifts

"Would it be possible to change this to something more instagrammable?"

"Just eat me, you intolerable pervert!"

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"How fresh is the calamari?"

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

Your lobster was off!

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

'It's my favorite.'

'Strong curry for two and a fire-extinguisher.'

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

There! I've made my year's supply of zucchini bread! That's kind of a lot. How can you store them all? It's no problem. I just throw out last year's supply.

'And that's how to make pancakes.'

"Excuse me, but could you ask the chef to make this a little more photogenic?"

"Then add one extra large egg..."

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

"Save yourself — it’s a casserole!"

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

The Huge-Underground Vat theory of why all wonton soup tastes exactly the same.

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

Avocado Timeline

"My instagram feed is basically people, dog food, and tennis balls."

"What would you recommend pairing with the school of cod fish?"

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

"I'll have the sticky rack of ribs for my main course and something vegan for my Instagram post."

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

"It's your ribs. I'm afraid they're delicious."

'Amazing this pizza looks just like a brain scan of someone who's experiencing apophenia'

'It's one of those trendy 'warm salads,' with sausage, fried eggs, bacon and black pudding.'

Mediterranean Martini

'Today's entrees are the Breast with Thyme, and the Wurst with Thyme.'