Food Photography Gifts

'Amazing this pizza looks just like a brain scan of someone who's experiencing apophenia'

Avocado Timeline

"I'm watching my sugar intake."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

"No. I don't want to eat it. Just post it on social media."

"OK...starting tomorrow, I start photographing smaller portions of food."

"Would it be possible for you to take a photo of my meal and post it on social media?"

"Just a heads-up, the Mushroom and Crab Risotto doesn't like its photo taken."

"Turn it around to catch its good side."

"I'm sure this Shabbos meal is delicious but how can I taste it if I can't take a photo and post it instantly online?"

Craft A Yummy, Grammable Cocktail.

Cull people who post pictures of food and use tags like #snackgasm #foodporn #nomnom.

"I have a food intolerance - I can only eat photogenic food."

"Can you recommend something photogenic?"

"I'll have the sticky rack of ribs for my main course and something vegan for my Instagram post."

"The taste was fine, but the presentation only got me 5 likes."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"I'd go with French Impressionist. It evokes the burnished golds of autumn leaves and the bittersweet regrets of lost love. It's also on special."

Mouse with a cat cake.

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

'I wish I hadn't coloured in all that bread, now.'

Shaved Ice

"My instagram feed is basically people, dog food, and tennis balls."

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

Picasso

"Something photogenic for each of us."

"In this restaurant, quality control means I must approve every picture you take of the food."

"To prevent any complaints like "when will our ordered food be served" guests can now follow the work in the kitchen on TV."

"I wonder how many Facebook likes I'll get."

"I am off duty, but the body cam allows me to discreetly take photos of my meal."

Almost Everything Bagel

"The food was terrible, but my wife said it photographed well."

"Just eat me, you intolerable pervert!"

"I don't like the food here, but the photos I paot make my friends envious."