Foodie Frustrations Gifts

'We're sorry sir, but our kitchen is out-sourced and takes a little longer.'

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

'My French is not so good.'

'You have to lose weight. Stop having intimate dinners for two, when you are not expecting anyone to join you.'

'It started out with lactose, but ow he's intolerant of everything.'

I feel like I'm starting to hate everyone, doc. Dr. Noodle. I hate the stranger who shook his head in disgust at me when he saw I was in an interracial relationship. I hate the lady who cut me off in traffic and almost ran me off the road this morning. I hate the dentist who convinced me I needed a $350 mouth guard when I could've bought one just as good for $25 at Target. I hate the girl scout who sold me six disgusting boxes of ten-year-old Samoa cookies. That's ... ten? I hate myself for not

'This restaurant has got zero stars, right? Every single one of them is well deserved.'

Supermarket Aisles.

"Fred? Can you help me? I'm really in a jam."

'Grate two hundred grammes of cheddar cheese...' - 'Uh-oh.' - 'Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...' - 'Cheese gives me nightmares.' - 'Argh!!! No!!! Make it stop!! I can't take the pain!! No!! Arghhhh!!!'

I Hate Alphabet Soup.

'How can anything this bad be fattening?.'

'Oh I can't stay here, i'm allergic to shell fish.'

What do you mean it's not vegetarian? The maggots all jump out...

A little green pepper means 'vegetarian." A little red heart means "heart healthy." And a little skull and crossbones means "I really shouldn't , but

After standing on the scales Claire decided to stamp on the diet book.

Another Bloody Cookery Show

"I'm spending too much money on food. But what can I do? The kids won't eat anything else."

'I don't think it's so much my inability to lose weight as it is my ability to find it.'

Please, one big slice of blueberry pie. i need it. I've worked 10 hours today with no break. The slightest thing could set me off. The slightest, slightest thing. In the scheme of things, being out of pie is less than slight. Commence weeping.

'Allors Monsieur, let's see... one fish meal... one phone call for the ambulance... that'll be 79,70.'

'How many times did I tell you 'Don't eat the free samples given out on the street!'?'

'I can't conceal it any longer - the food in this place is killing you.'

The consequences of eating junk food.

"It's horrible. Well, I share my food...on social media."

A man's instant camera picture falls into his soup.

"I wish they would stop putting food in my hat."

Cook struggles to open sauce jar.

"Good news is we won a trip. bad news is that it's a trip to France."

"Some kids are eating so much junk food and getting so fat they can hardly move."

If you eat like that you'll get fat and die.

She left and took everything. How could she, he thought, she knows how much I hate grocery shopping.