Foodie's Worst Nightmare Gifts

'It started out with lactose, but ow he's intolerant of everything.'

HELLth Food Sprouts

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

'My French is not so good.'

All You Can Eat Buffet: "Remember, my safe word is 'Diabetes.'"

"Dear Mum, please stop sending me food parcels..."

I feel like I'm starting to hate everyone, doc. Dr. Noodle. I hate the stranger who shook his head in disgust at me when he saw I was in an interracial relationship. I hate the lady who cut me off in traffic and almost ran me off the road this morning. I hate the dentist who convinced me I needed a $350 mouth guard when I could've bought one just as good for $25 at Target. I hate the girl scout who sold me six disgusting boxes of ten-year-old Samoa cookies. That's ... ten? I hate myself for not

We'll pass on the entrees...

What do you mean it's not vegetarian? The maggots all jump out...

I Hate Alphabet Soup.

'Grate two hundred grammes of cheddar cheese...' - 'Uh-oh.' - 'Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...' - 'Cheese gives me nightmares.' - 'Argh!!! No!!! Make it stop!! I can't take the pain!! No!! Arghhhh!!!'

'How can anything this bad be fattening?.'

"Fred? Can you help me? I'm really in a jam."

'We're sorry sir, but our kitchen is out-sourced and takes a little longer.'

Supermarket Aisles.

A little green pepper means 'vegetarian." A little red heart means "heart healthy." And a little skull and crossbones means "I really shouldn't , but

"Besides it having no atmosphere, this restaurant seems to have a very bad attitude."

After standing on the scales Claire decided to stamp on the diet book.

'Please be careful, sir, the plate is hot.'

'I don't think it's so much my inability to lose weight as it is my ability to find it.'

'Allors Monsieur, let's see... one fish meal... one phone call for the ambulance... that'll be 79,70.'

"I follow the paleo diet. Anything you can choke down."

"I'm spending too much money on food. But what can I do? The kids won't eat anything else."

'How many times did I tell you 'Don't eat the free samples given out on the street!'?'

"It's horrible. Well, I share my food...on social media."

"I was looking at a food site, and I left the tab open overnight. Judging by the bugs, the food went bad."

A man's instant camera picture falls into his soup.

Man suffering terrrible cramps at dinner

"Good news is we won a trip. bad news is that it's a trip to France."

"My heart says I should go with my head; my head says I should go with my gut."

Cook struggles to open sauce jar.

"Yes, I would like something to follow, the antidote"

'This is an emergency, get me meals on wheels...'