Fearful Foodie Gifts

'Grate two hundred grammes of cheddar cheese...' - 'Uh-oh.' - 'Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...' - 'Cheese gives me nightmares.' - 'Argh!!! No!!! Make it stop!! I can't take the pain!! No!! Arghhhh!!!'

Al Dante

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

The boss is truly a courageous risk-taker. Only he tasted the salmon mousse at last year's company picnic.

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

Too many cooks also spoil the movie.

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

'Our five-course dinners start with denial, followed by anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance.'

'Do you, Freddie Finicky, promise to eat all your dinners up?'

All You Can Eat Buffet: "Remember, my safe word is 'Diabetes.'"

'It started out with lactose, but ow he's intolerant of everything.'

Witch making a brew with Gluten, Nuts, Trans Fats, BGH, GMOs...

'Would you like to eat in the restaurant or dine outside on our Wasp-atorium?'

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

I feel like I'm starting to hate everyone, doc. Dr. Noodle. I hate the stranger who shook his head in disgust at me when he saw I was in an interracial relationship. I hate the lady who cut me off in traffic and almost ran me off the road this morning. I hate the dentist who convinced me I needed a $350 mouth guard when I could've bought one just as good for $25 at Target. I hate the girl scout who sold me six disgusting boxes of ten-year-old Samoa cookies. That's ... ten? I hate myself for not

'I think our marriage would make a great country song.'

Man walks into a restaurant with a sign saying "Billy Bob's Diner - We don't let the federal government tell us what to do with our tainted beef".

"Fred? Can you help me? I'm really in a jam."

"I don't really hate vegetables...but they're my last line of defense before liver and onions."

'Oh, boy, cook books! I love to learn new ways to burn things.'

After standing on the scales Claire decided to stamp on the diet book.

"I'd like to try something different- something that takes a lot of guts to eat."

The Origin of Volcanic Eruptions.

"Be right with you, folks."

'Please be careful, sir, the plate is hot.'

Woman Delivering Lunch to Builder.

"Kids eat free before six o'clock."

Please, one big slice of blueberry pie. i need it. I've worked 10 hours today with no break. The slightest thing could set me off. The slightest, slightest thing. In the scheme of things, being out of pie is less than slight. Commence weeping.

'I don't think it's so much my inability to lose weight as it is my ability to find it.'

"I'm spending too much money on food. But what can I do? The kids won't eat anything else."

Mexican Food. Order here. Menu. It's hard to believe you have a nervous stomach --- It looks like it's big enough to be unafraid of everything!

'I'm being awarded a medal for valor for ordering the chef's surprise.'

'This must be their seasonal menu. These prices are scary!'

"For what we are about to receive, let it not contain any mad cow disease..."