Fearful Foodie Pillows

'Grate two hundred grammes of cheddar cheese...' - 'Uh-oh.' - 'Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...' - 'Cheese gives me nightmares.' - 'Argh!!! No!!! Make it stop!! I can't take the pain!! No!! Arghhhh!!!'

Al Dante

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

The boss is truly a courageous risk-taker. Only he tasted the salmon mousse at last year's company picnic.

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

'Our five-course dinners start with denial, followed by anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance.'

'Do you, Freddie Finicky, promise to eat all your dinners up?'

All You Can Eat Buffet: "Remember, my safe word is 'Diabetes.'"

'It started out with lactose, but ow he's intolerant of everything.'

Witch making a brew with Gluten, Nuts, Trans Fats, BGH, GMOs...

'Would you like to eat in the restaurant or dine outside on our Wasp-atorium?'

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

'I think our marriage would make a great country song.'

Man walks into a restaurant with a sign saying "Billy Bob's Diner - We don't let the federal government tell us what to do with our tainted beef".

"Fred? Can you help me? I'm really in a jam."

"I don't really hate vegetables...but they're my last line of defense before liver and onions."

After standing on the scales Claire decided to stamp on the diet book.

'Oh, boy, cook books! I love to learn new ways to burn things.'

"I'd like to try something different- something that takes a lot of guts to eat."

'Please be careful, sir, the plate is hot.'

Woman Delivering Lunch to Builder.

"Kids eat free before six o'clock."

The Origin of Volcanic Eruptions.

"I'm spending too much money on food. But what can I do? The kids won't eat anything else."

'I'm being awarded a medal for valor for ordering the chef's surprise.'

'I don't think it's so much my inability to lose weight as it is my ability to find it.'

'This must be their seasonal menu. These prices are scary!'

"For what we are about to receive, let it not contain any mad cow disease..."

Fridge Pirate