Nervous Foodie Pillows

"For what we are about to receive, let it not contain any mad cow disease..."

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"How's everything here? Let's start with your earliest childhood memories."

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

Al Dante

The boss is truly a courageous risk-taker. Only he tasted the salmon mousse at last year's company picnic.

"Yes, I'm sure some child in Brussels won't starve if you eat his sprouts."

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

'Our five-course dinners start with denial, followed by anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance.'

"For regurgitated food, it's great, but the presentation..."

'Do you, Freddie Finicky, promise to eat all your dinners up?'

"Eat those veggies or I'll change the wifi password."

All You Can Eat Buffet: "Remember, my safe word is 'Diabetes.'"

We've been dating for about 30 minutes, so things are still going well. Please send over the waiter immediately, before everything goes down the toilet. Menu.

Witch making a brew with Gluten, Nuts, Trans Fats, BGH, GMOs...

'Ketchup? You know that's an insult to the chef, right?'

'Would you like to eat in the restaurant or dine outside on our Wasp-atorium?'

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

A single man can be seen through the front window of the "ME Only Restaurant".

'I think our marriage would make a great country song.'

"Ewww – Cabernet with tuna fish?"

"Fred? Can you help me? I'm really in a jam."

'Grate two hundred grammes of cheddar cheese...' - 'Uh-oh.' - 'Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...' - 'Cheese gives me nightmares.' - 'Argh!!! No!!! Make it stop!! I can't take the pain!! No!! Arghhhh!!!'

"Combination No. 5--no MSG."

'Oh, boy, cook books! I love to learn new ways to burn things.'

"I'd like to try something different- something that takes a lot of guts to eat."

'I'm looking for the perfect coffee to pair with a toaster strudel & a banana.'

Woman Delivering Lunch to Builder.

"Kids eat free before six o'clock."

The Origin of Volcanic Eruptions.

'I'm being awarded a medal for valor for ordering the chef's surprise.'

Please, one big slice of blueberry pie. i need it. I've worked 10 hours today with no break. The slightest thing could set me off. The slightest, slightest thing. In the scheme of things, being out of pie is less than slight. Commence weeping.

'Hmmm, your dietary requirements make it hard to pinpoint a suitable holiday destination...'