Foodie In Distress Gifts

"Fred? Can you help me? I'm really in a jam."

'Your blood pressure is extremely high - your resistance to things that cause it, extremely low!'

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

"He's a fussy eater."

'My French is not so good.'

'You have to lose weight. Stop having intimate dinners for two, when you are not expecting anyone to join you.'

All You Can Eat Buffet: "Remember, my safe word is 'Diabetes.'"

'It started out with lactose, but ow he's intolerant of everything.'

"Dear Mum, please stop sending me food parcels..."

I feel like I'm starting to hate everyone, doc. Dr. Noodle. I hate the stranger who shook his head in disgust at me when he saw I was in an interracial relationship. I hate the lady who cut me off in traffic and almost ran me off the road this morning. I hate the dentist who convinced me I needed a $350 mouth guard when I could've bought one just as good for $25 at Target. I hate the girl scout who sold me six disgusting boxes of ten-year-old Samoa cookies. That's ... ten? I hate myself for not

"I'm looling for ground beef that's organic, non-GMO, and doesn't contain meat."

"You asked me to keep a food diary, this is last week's!"

"I used to be a foodie. Now I'm a fussy glutton."

'How can anything this bad be fattening?.'

What do you mean it's not vegetarian? The maggots all jump out...

'Grate two hundred grammes of cheddar cheese...' - 'Uh-oh.' - 'Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...' - 'Cheese gives me nightmares.' - 'Argh!!! No!!! Make it stop!! I can't take the pain!! No!! Arghhhh!!!'

I Hate Alphabet Soup.

A little green pepper means 'vegetarian." A little red heart means "heart healthy." And a little skull and crossbones means "I really shouldn't , but

Supermarket Aisles.

'Now that I can afford anything on the menu, I can't digest anything on the menu.'

"I never thought I'd be saying this, but I'd like some hospital food."

After standing on the scales Claire decided to stamp on the diet book.

'Please be careful, sir, the plate is hot.'

"Careful, I'm spilling your shrimp bisque all over the place."

'Allors Monsieur, let's see... one fish meal... one phone call for the ambulance... that'll be 79,70.'

"I'm spending too much money on food. But what can I do? The kids won't eat anything else."

'I don't think it's so much my inability to lose weight as it is my ability to find it.'

'How many times did I tell you 'Don't eat the free samples given out on the street!'?'

"It's horrible. Well, I share my food...on social media."

"A tip?... Yes, I'll give you a tip. Never eat here, the service is terrible!"

Guy begging for money holding his hat out. Next to him an out of work chef holding his frying pan out begging for money.

Man faced with a fridge full of food can't find the dinner left for him by his wife

"My heart says I should go with my head; my head says I should go with my gut."