Foodie Gone Wrong Gifts

'How can anything this bad be fattening?.'

HELLth Food Sprouts

'Your blood pressure is extremely high - your resistance to things that cause it, extremely low!'

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

'My French is not so good.'

All You Can Eat Buffet: "Remember, my safe word is 'Diabetes.'"

'It started out with lactose, but ow he's intolerant of everything.'

'This restaurant has got zero stars, right? Every single one of them is well deserved.'

'That's weird. All this fortune cookie says is 'look out!''

I feel like I'm starting to hate everyone, doc. Dr. Noodle. I hate the stranger who shook his head in disgust at me when he saw I was in an interracial relationship. I hate the lady who cut me off in traffic and almost ran me off the road this morning. I hate the dentist who convinced me I needed a $350 mouth guard when I could've bought one just as good for $25 at Target. I hate the girl scout who sold me six disgusting boxes of ten-year-old Samoa cookies. That's ... ten? I hate myself for not

"I'm looling for ground beef that's organic, non-GMO, and doesn't contain meat."

"Fred? Can you help me? I'm really in a jam."

What do you mean it's not vegetarian? The maggots all jump out...

'You ate the styrofoam, and left the meringue.'

I Hate Alphabet Soup.

"The I'm Going Off My Diet special comes with a side order of Guilt."

After standing on the scales Claire decided to stamp on the diet book.

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

Murphy's Slaw.

"Careful, I'm spilling your shrimp bisque all over the place."

'Allors Monsieur, let's see... one fish meal... one phone call for the ambulance... that'll be 79,70.'

"I'm spending too much money on food. But what can I do? The kids won't eat anything else."

"Oh God, I forgot to ask if anybody had lard issues."

'How many times did I tell you 'Don't eat the free samples given out on the street!'?'

Man faced with a fridge full of food can't find the dinner left for him by his wife

'We'll have to eat out tonight - the meatloaf turned on me.'

"It's horrible. Well, I share my food...on social media."

"I was looking at a food site, and I left the tab open overnight. Judging by the bugs, the food went bad."

A man's instant camera picture falls into his soup.

Man suffering terrrible cramps at dinner

"Good news is we won a trip. bad news is that it's a trip to France."

Cook struggles to open sauce jar.

"Don't worry about serving chicken to a vegetarian, Carmen. We all make mistakes. I once mistook a mop bucket for a soup pot."

'This is an emergency, get me meals on wheels...'