Foodie Fail Gifts

"It's horrible. Well, I share my food...on social media."

HELLth Food Sprouts

Cafe Burns.

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

'Your blood pressure is extremely high - your resistance to things that cause it, extremely low!'

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

'I had the recipe upside down, so it's beefed corn.'

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

'My French is not so good.'

"Every time my wife has an accident in the kitchen, I end up eating it. . ."

'This restaurant has got zero stars, right? Every single one of them is well deserved.'

I've got to run to my job interview! Do I have spinach between my teeth?

I feel like I'm starting to hate everyone, doc. Dr. Noodle. I hate the stranger who shook his head in disgust at me when he saw I was in an interracial relationship. I hate the lady who cut me off in traffic and almost ran me off the road this morning. I hate the dentist who convinced me I needed a $350 mouth guard when I could've bought one just as good for $25 at Target. I hate the girl scout who sold me six disgusting boxes of ten-year-old Samoa cookies. That's ... ten? I hate myself for not

What do you mean it's not vegetarian? The maggots all jump out...

'How can anything this bad be fattening?.'

"Fred? Can you help me? I'm really in a jam."

'We're sorry sir, but our kitchen is out-sourced and takes a little longer.'

After standing on the scales Claire decided to stamp on the diet book.

'Today I discover fire, tonight she burns dinner.'

A man and a woman on a date have a fish head and tail for dinner.

"I'm spending too much money on food. But what can I do? The kids won't eat anything else."

'Allors Monsieur, let's see... one fish meal... one phone call for the ambulance... that'll be 79,70.'

"Careful, I'm spilling your shrimp bisque all over the place."

"Oh God, I forgot to ask if anybody had lard issues."

'How many times did I tell you 'Don't eat the free samples given out on the street!'?'

"I was looking at a food site, and I left the tab open overnight. Judging by the bugs, the food went bad."

Man faced with a fridge full of food can't find the dinner left for him by his wife

Dining Infraction, Too Much Tabouli on the Tie!

'Not only our fishcakes, Granny Cora herself was recalled. She's not really a Granny.'

A man's instant camera picture falls into his soup.

Man suffering terrrible cramps at dinner

"Good news is we won a trip. bad news is that it's a trip to France."

Cook struggles to open sauce jar.

'This is an emergency, get me meals on wheels...'