Foodie Fails Gifts

'How many times did I tell you 'Don't eat the free samples given out on the street!'?'

'Allors Monsieur, let's see... one fish meal... one phone call for the ambulance... that'll be 79,70.'

'My French is not so good.'

HELLth Food Sprouts

Cafe Burns.

'Your blood pressure is extremely high - your resistance to things that cause it, extremely low!'

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

I feel like I'm starting to hate everyone, doc. Dr. Noodle. I hate the stranger who shook his head in disgust at me when he saw I was in an interracial relationship. I hate the lady who cut me off in traffic and almost ran me off the road this morning. I hate the dentist who convinced me I needed a $350 mouth guard when I could've bought one just as good for $25 at Target. I hate the girl scout who sold me six disgusting boxes of ten-year-old Samoa cookies. That's ... ten? I hate myself for not

I've got to run to my job interview! Do I have spinach between my teeth?

'This restaurant has got zero stars, right? Every single one of them is well deserved.'

"Combination No. 5--no MSG."

"Fred? Can you help me? I'm really in a jam."

"The I'm Going Off My Diet special comes with a side order of Guilt."

'We're sorry sir, but our kitchen is out-sourced and takes a little longer.'

'How can anything this bad be fattening?.'

What do you mean it's not vegetarian? The maggots all jump out...

After standing on the scales Claire decided to stamp on the diet book.

A man and a woman on a date have a fish head and tail for dinner.

"I'm spending too much money on food. But what can I do? The kids won't eat anything else."

"Careful, I'm spilling your shrimp bisque all over the place."

"Oh God, I forgot to ask if anybody had lard issues."

"There could be a table in your future - or - dessert in someone else's."

'Not only our fishcakes, Granny Cora herself was recalled. She's not really a Granny.'

Man faced with a fridge full of food can't find the dinner left for him by his wife

"It's horrible. Well, I share my food...on social media."

Dining Infraction, Too Much Tabouli on the Tie!

"I was looking at a food site, and I left the tab open overnight. Judging by the bugs, the food went bad."

A man's instant camera picture falls into his soup.

Man suffering terrrible cramps at dinner

Cook struggles to open sauce jar.

"Good news is we won a trip. bad news is that it's a trip to France."

'This is an emergency, get me meals on wheels...'