Broken-hearted Foodies Gifts

She left and took everything. How could she, he thought, she knows how much I hate grocery shopping.

'Your blood pressure is extremely high - your resistance to things that cause it, extremely low!'

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

Chicken soup books

'My French is not so good.'

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

"If music be the food of love, this is rap."

I feel like I'm starting to hate everyone, doc. Dr. Noodle. I hate the stranger who shook his head in disgust at me when he saw I was in an interracial relationship. I hate the lady who cut me off in traffic and almost ran me off the road this morning. I hate the dentist who convinced me I needed a $350 mouth guard when I could've bought one just as good for $25 at Target. I hate the girl scout who sold me six disgusting boxes of ten-year-old Samoa cookies. That's ... ten? I hate myself for not

"Will you all please bow your heads for the reading of the menu."

'I think our marriage would make a great country song.'

'How can anything this bad be fattening?.'

"The I'm Going Off My Diet special comes with a side order of Guilt."

I Hate Alphabet Soup.

'We're sorry sir, but our kitchen is out-sourced and takes a little longer.'

"Fred? Can you help me? I'm really in a jam."

What do you mean it's not vegetarian? The maggots all jump out...

"I used to be a foodie. Now I'm a fussy glutton."

"The chef sends his compliments. He's really surprised that you actually ate it!"

After standing on the scales Claire decided to stamp on the diet book.

"I never thought I'd be saying this, but I'd like some hospital food."

'Please be careful, sir, the plate is hot.'

Smelly fish.

'You would forget the doggie bag!'

"I'm spending too much money on food. But what can I do? The kids won't eat anything else."

'I don't think it's so much my inability to lose weight as it is my ability to find it.'

'Allors Monsieur, let's see... one fish meal... one phone call for the ambulance... that'll be 79,70.'

'How many times did I tell you 'Don't eat the free samples given out on the street!'?'

Guy begging for money holding his hat out. Next to him an out of work chef holding his frying pan out begging for money.

The consequences of eating junk food.

A man's instant camera picture falls into his soup.

Man suffering terrrible cramps at dinner

"Well,that must be a television FIRST-Delia Smith BURNING a roast!!!'

Cook struggles to open sauce jar.

'For small events, the sympathetic ear, for big ones, the sympathetic stomach!'