Foodie In Crisis Gifts

Man suffering terrrible cramps at dinner

'This is an emergency, get me meals on wheels...'

Cafe Burns.

'Your blood pressure is extremely high - your resistance to things that cause it, extremely low!'

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

"I've been a chef for far too long...."

'My French is not so good.'

'Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday you like beans, now you don't like beans.'

'You have to lose weight. Stop having intimate dinners for two, when you are not expecting anyone to join you.'

All You Can Eat Buffet: "Remember, my safe word is 'Diabetes.'"

"Dear Mum, please stop sending me food parcels..."

'It started out with lactose, but ow he's intolerant of everything.'

"Did you notice the smirk on his face when he said 'enjoy'?"

"The I'm Going Off My Diet special comes with a side order of Guilt."

"Fred? Can you help me? I'm really in a jam."

'How can anything this bad be fattening?.'

Supermarket Aisles.

What do you mean it's not vegetarian? The maggots all jump out...

"I used to be a foodie. Now I'm a fussy glutton."

'Of course, I love you, Debbie... but I'm too young to be tied down to one refrigerator!'

After standing on the scales Claire decided to stamp on the diet book.

"I never thought I'd be saying this, but I'd like some hospital food."

'Please be careful, sir, the plate is hot.'

'I don't think it's so much my inability to lose weight as it is my ability to find it.'

"I'm spending too much money on food. But what can I do? The kids won't eat anything else."

'Allors Monsieur, let's see... one fish meal... one phone call for the ambulance... that'll be 79,70.'

"Careful, I'm spilling your shrimp bisque all over the place."

'How many times did I tell you 'Don't eat the free samples given out on the street!'?'

"It's horrible. Well, I share my food...on social media."

Guy begging for money holding his hat out. Next to him an out of work chef holding his frying pan out begging for money.

"My heart says I should go with my head; my head says I should go with my gut."

Cook struggles to open sauce jar.

"She may be useless in the bedroom but she claims to be a wow in the kitchen!"