Foodie Fatigue Gifts

Another Bloody Cookery Show

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

At home - 'small and early' - refreshments.

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

'You forgot your glasses again, didn't you?'

'My French is not so good.'

'Our five-course dinners start with denial, followed by anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance.'

'You have to lose weight. Stop having intimate dinners for two, when you are not expecting anyone to join you.'

I feel like I'm starting to hate everyone, doc. Dr. Noodle. I hate the stranger who shook his head in disgust at me when he saw I was in an interracial relationship. I hate the lady who cut me off in traffic and almost ran me off the road this morning. I hate the dentist who convinced me I needed a $350 mouth guard when I could've bought one just as good for $25 at Target. I hate the girl scout who sold me six disgusting boxes of ten-year-old Samoa cookies. That's ... ten? I hate myself for not

"Chicken 'Laissez-faire'?"

'Face it, 24 hour grocery stores were made for people like us.'

'Grate two hundred grammes of cheddar cheese...' - 'Uh-oh.' - 'Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...' - 'Cheese gives me nightmares.' - 'Argh!!! No!!! Make it stop!! I can't take the pain!! No!! Arghhhh!!!'

'Oh I can't stay here, i'm allergic to shell fish.'

"Fred? Can you help me? I'm really in a jam."

I Hate Alphabet Soup.

'We're sorry sir, but our kitchen is out-sourced and takes a little longer.'

After standing on the scales Claire decided to stamp on the diet book.

'I take it you're having the businessman's lunch.'

Frank, I got the results from the sample I had analyzed to determine my genetic makeup. That's odd. It's says you're a mixture of French Toast, Canadian Bacon, some Russian dressing along with some Swedish Meatballs and a bit of Irish Coffee. You must have swabbed the front of your shirt rather than the inside of your cheek. Oops, add a little German Chocolate Cake to the mix!

"I'm spending too much money on food. But what can I do? The kids won't eat anything else."

'You would forget the doggie bag!'

'I don't think it's so much my inability to lose weight as it is my ability to find it.'

'Allors Monsieur, let's see... one fish meal... one phone call for the ambulance... that'll be 79,70.'

"You know, I really, really, don't like ethnic restaurants."

Please, one big slice of blueberry pie. i need it. I've worked 10 hours today with no break. The slightest thing could set me off. The slightest, slightest thing. In the scheme of things, being out of pie is less than slight. Commence weeping.

'How many times did I tell you 'Don't eat the free samples given out on the street!'?'

"For what we are about to receive, let it not contain any mad cow disease..."

'I can't conceal it any longer - the food in this place is killing you.'

The consequences of eating junk food.

"It's horrible. Well, I share my food...on social media."

Cook struggles to open sauce jar.

"Is there a term for that uncomfortable feeling after you've eaten too much comfort food?"

She left and took everything. How could she, he thought, she knows how much I hate grocery shopping.

Forgotten something at the supermarket till?