Conflicted Foodie Gifts

'I can't conceal it any longer - the food in this place is killing you.'

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

Dieting Motivation.

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

"He's a fussy eater."

'Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday you like beans, now you don't like beans.'

'You have to lose weight. Stop having intimate dinners for two, when you are not expecting anyone to join you.'

"I want proof that I even need that much iron before I go eating all that spinach."

I feel like I'm starting to hate everyone, doc. Dr. Noodle. I hate the stranger who shook his head in disgust at me when he saw I was in an interracial relationship. I hate the lady who cut me off in traffic and almost ran me off the road this morning. I hate the dentist who convinced me I needed a $350 mouth guard when I could've bought one just as good for $25 at Target. I hate the girl scout who sold me six disgusting boxes of ten-year-old Samoa cookies. That's ... ten? I hate myself for not

Man walks into a restaurant with a sign saying "Billy Bob's Diner - We don't let the federal government tell us what to do with our tainted beef".

"You asked me to keep a food diary, this is last week's!"

A little green pepper means 'vegetarian." A little red heart means "heart healthy." And a little skull and crossbones means "I really shouldn't , but

'We're sorry sir, but our kitchen is out-sourced and takes a little longer.'

"Fred? Can you help me? I'm really in a jam."

I Hate Alphabet Soup.

Supermarket Aisles.

'Now that I can afford anything on the menu, I can't digest anything on the menu.'

'Of course, I love you, Debbie... but I'm too young to be tied down to one refrigerator!'

After standing on the scales Claire decided to stamp on the diet book.

In marriage guidance - "I think it's our jobs...he owns a candy shop and I'm a dentist."

'I don't think it's so much my inability to lose weight as it is my ability to find it.'

'Dinner is ruined. I brought too many diet's home from the office again.'

"I'm spending too much money on food. But what can I do? The kids won't eat anything else."

"We don't need menus. Just pick the healthiest dish you have and give it to us deep fried."

'He's messing with my mind. He ordered a plain donut and a chocolate bagel with sprinkles.'

Your supper was dinner and orginially lunch

"And I got this bachelorhood award for most meals eaten standing in the kitchen hanging over the sink."

"A tip?... Yes, I'll give you a tip. Never eat here, the service is terrible!"

"You need to disable cookies and pizza and ice cream and..."

Man on diet fealing guilty

"My heart says I should go with my head; my head says I should go with my gut."

Cook struggles to open sauce jar.

"Some kids are eating so much junk food and getting so fat they can hardly move."

"...and another thing, Mother's was never so runny"