Conflicted Eater Gifts

Man on diet fealing guilty

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

'How is the water prepared?'

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

"Please don't kill me."

"You've got some food or something in your moustache."

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

'Are you sure these sprouts aren't GM?.'

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"This? It's my Thanksgiving outfit. It's already pre-stained in cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie."

"Michael, do your dinner."

'Being omnivorous means we eat anything: That includes Brussel sprouts!'

Spaghetto

'Then that's one steak well done and fries, and one anything as long as it's fast.'

"Looks like we'll be eating leftovers for a month!"

'There is something wrong with the spinach. It tastes good.'

'I don't really hate vegetables, but if I eat them, what's next...GIBLETS?'

'Wait a minute! I want it stirred, not shaken!'

Picasso paints AND eats like a child!

'for the record, it tasted like black licorice.'

'Frankly, the diet I'm putting you on will include things that you probably wouldn't consider 'food' as such.'

"How could they possibly know it's gluten-free, low gi. . . ?"

"It's not a Jackson Pollock T-shirt, it's the pizza I had for lunch."

"Do I have to eat the cherry?"

"Don't get me wrong, I like apples, but for some reason, that seems to be the only treat they ever give us..."

New beef chart.

"You're not being punished, Kenny...Salad is what we're having for dinner."

'Dinner was taking too long, so I just went ahead and ordered pizza.'

"It's hard to believe...one chocolate biscuit can spread quite so far."

'Really, would it be asking too much for maybe a nice piece of cake?'

Messy Eater