Conflicted Eater Gifts

Man on diet fealing guilty

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

'How is the water prepared?'

"Please don't kill me."

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

"You've got some food or something in your moustache."

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

'Are you sure these sprouts aren't GM?.'

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"Michael, do your dinner."

"This? It's my Thanksgiving outfit. It's already pre-stained in cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie."

Spaghetto

'Being omnivorous means we eat anything: That includes Brussel sprouts!'

"Looks like we'll be eating leftovers for a month!"

'Then that's one steak well done and fries, and one anything as long as it's fast.'

'There is something wrong with the spinach. It tastes good.'

'for the record, it tasted like black licorice.'

'Frankly, the diet I'm putting you on will include things that you probably wouldn't consider 'food' as such.'

Picasso paints AND eats like a child!

'I don't really hate vegetables, but if I eat them, what's next...GIBLETS?'

"How could they possibly know it's gluten-free, low gi. . . ?"

"Don't get me wrong, I like apples, but for some reason, that seems to be the only treat they ever give us..."

'Wait a minute! I want it stirred, not shaken!'

"Do I have to eat the cherry?"

"It's not a Jackson Pollock T-shirt, it's the pizza I had for lunch."

New beef chart.

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'

'Dinner was taking too long, so I just went ahead and ordered pizza.'

"You're not being punished, Kenny...Salad is what we're having for dinner."

'Really, would it be asking too much for maybe a nice piece of cake?'

"It's hard to believe...one chocolate biscuit can spread quite so far."

Messy Eater