Foodie In Denial Gifts

"You asked me to keep a food diary, this is last week's!"

'Now that I can afford anything on the menu, I can't digest anything on the menu.'

"A tip?... Yes, I'll give you a tip. Never eat here, the service is terrible!"

"He's a fussy eater."

"You need to disable cookies and pizza and ice cream and..."

HELLth Food Sprouts

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

'Your blood pressure is extremely high - your resistance to things that cause it, extremely low!'

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Fast Food Dieter

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

"And what would you like to regret later?"

Well, O.K., so you found fast food, but what's the hurry?

The moat won't keep you from raiding the fridge if you order him to lower the drawbridge.

'I'm fat, I eat too much and my blood pressure is high. . . Have a beer and some chips but feel guilty about it.'

"I want proof that I even need that much iron before I go eating all that spinach."

'There you are - you know you're not supposed to be eating that!'

"When you came down for a snack last night, did you see a plate of dog food in here?"

"And here's a photo of the baby salmon."

'If I can touch my toes I can touch dessert.'

"Fred? Can you help me? I'm really in a jam."

'You're problem is you don't think big enough.'

A little green pepper means 'vegetarian." A little red heart means "heart healthy." And a little skull and crossbones means "I really shouldn't , but

Supermarket Aisles.

'How many calories do you burn by downloading apps?'

'No fortune cookies please - I don't want to get my hopes up.'

Me On A Diet: "I should not be eating this!"

'I hate to tell you this...but you're going to have to give up red meat.'

"Oh God, I forgot to ask if anybody had lard issues."

Burger Shack. I'm trying to go vegan, but I still sneak away for an occasional burger. You need a little "meat time"!

"Careful, I'm spilling your shrimp bisque all over the place."

'Do you have a royalty card?'

Man faced with a fridge full of food can't find the dinner left for him by his wife

'I can't conceal it any longer - the food in this place is killing you.'