Food Allergy Explorer Pillows

"Wow! So you think my chronic self-hatred may just be an undiagnosed case of lactose intolerance?"

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

"Mouse? No. They contain cheese and I'm lactose intolerant."

The Nihilist Deli.

Attack of the 'health' foods

"OK, hands up who’s vegan... lactose intolerant... peanut allergies..."

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

Gluten-free Santa

Squirrel in tree with t-shirt saying ''may contain nuts.'

"Happy Birthday, dear! It's gluten-free, lactose-free and sugar-free."

"If you eat gluten, we have a ton of it in the back."

"Everything on the menu can be prepared with no gluten, standard gluten, or extra gluten."

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

"No, we don't sell gluten-free gluten."

'Cool snack, Tommy! My folks are into health foods too!'

'Why didn't you say you were Lactose intolerant in the first place?'

"It's the gluten-free edition."

"Are there nuts in this?"

"It might taste a little different. It's gluten-free slop."

'Well, this is a first- you seem to be allergic to distilled water.'

The Gluten is Free. RUN!

"He's allergic to peanuts, sensitive to wheat, lactose-intolerant, and just plain weirded out by fruit."

"Ding dong bell, Pussy's into wellness."

Gluten-Free Church

'Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is perfect for them.'

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

'Is the homework gluten free?'

"None of our items are gluten-free, but they are prepared by people who are."

'Jake's Alternate Pharmacy.'