Foal Philosopher Gifts

'He's so cute Jean! How old is he now?'

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

The Proust of Twitter

Chicken soup for the sole.

Why doesn't birdie go soaring on high like other birds?

"This aquarium is such a nice prison."

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

Flea Philosophy.

'The hardest thing is convincing the wife that when I'm staring out of the window I'm actually composing a tweet.'

When the Job Market Shifts, Always Remember That It's All Your Fault

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

Cool Cat, Dog Dork, Grumpy Goldfish, Constipated Cockatiel.

"Cat got your tongue?"

Grass: We lost some good men today!

"With me everything is 'scratch and sniff'."

"Put on a tie. We've been invited to the castle."

My definition of 'quality time?'...charging $500 per hour.

"What should I say this is about?"

'This is the eight hundred and sixty-seventh day of my captivity - How about you?'

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

Dept. de Philosophie

The Hen Commandments.

Fish-losophy

'I hear your fees are very reasonable.'

"If man evolved from apes,does that mean we came from Sea Monkeys?"

Call it that if it makes you feel better, Bobo … but it's still a zoo, not a gated community.

'Don't you find watching people relaxing?'

"I don't think he's wearing that snorkel because he wants to swim with us. Especially, since it's lunch time."

'No, we can never actually see the big cartoonist, but he's everywhere.'

Fisherman to friend about to be devoured by shark: 'Bill, are you familiar with the health benefits of shark cartilage?'

Poet and Peasant

"Is 'Upstream' where we really want to be?"