Foal Philosopher Pillows

'He's so cute Jean! How old is he now?'

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

The Proust of Twitter

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

Why doesn't birdie go soaring on high like other birds?

"This aquarium is such a nice prison."

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

Flea Philosophy.

'The hardest thing is convincing the wife that when I'm staring out of the window I'm actually composing a tweet.'

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

Cool Cat, Dog Dork, Grumpy Goldfish, Constipated Cockatiel.

"Cat got your tongue?"

Grass: We lost some good men today!

"Put on a tie. We've been invited to the castle."

"With me everything is 'scratch and sniff'."

"What should I say this is about?"

My definition of 'quality time?'...charging $500 per hour.

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

'This is the eight hundred and sixty-seventh day of my captivity - How about you?'

Dept. de Philosophie

'Don't you find watching people relaxing?'

'I hear your fees are very reasonable.'

"If man evolved from apes,does that mean we came from Sea Monkeys?"

"I don't think he's wearing that snorkel because he wants to swim with us. Especially, since it's lunch time."

Fisherman to friend about to be devoured by shark: 'Bill, are you familiar with the health benefits of shark cartilage?'

"Is 'Upstream' where we really want to be?"

Poet and Peasant

"Trust me, catching it isn't that satisfying."