Floss Fanatic Gifts

"True, you have irreconcilable differences, but they're mainly about flossing."

'I now pronounce you dentist and hygienist. You may floss the bride.'

"That explains all the cavities."

Dentist's office.

"I'll take your word for it. You don't have to show me your used floss."

Their honeymoon was a disaster. She spent all night in the bathroom, flossing.

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

"Ugh! Damn floss..."

The Busy Gardener

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Florabation - '..mmm...It must be spring!'

'Needs salt!'

Harsh Mellows.

"Be creative...!"

Cats and gardens.

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

Ice Cream Dreams.

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

Roses

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

'Meat cooked, but carrots still hard.' Hand in pot

'Oddly, few archaeologist comment on the flossing habits of Easter Island inhabitants.'

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

I love bathtime.

I love what you've done with your hare.

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'

Funky Chef 2

Floss Street Vendor

'A most powerful, moving and scary book - botanists will love it!'

A menu with risks and benefits