Flea Trainer Gifts

'I wish you would go back to training elephants , Otto !'

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

Polly txt speak

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"Quick, start the car!"

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

"Hey Lady this is a sixty zone!"

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

'Bert's dog training.'

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

No caption (In the first frame a dog rides in a car with his head hanging out the window. The dog is smiling. In the next three frames the view gets progressively closer to his ear, until on the fourth frame a closeup is shown of a flea on the dogs ear. He too, is smiling).

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Litter Tray Training

"How long is it since you took Benji for a walk?"

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

'He's not supposed to go out.'

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

"I wasn't howling at the moon. I was singing along to my iPod."

Funky Facts: Monkeys.

Dog stretching before a walk.

"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

"Don't even think about it."

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

Cat Show