Feline Trainer Gifts

'Do you have any more photos of your mom? I'm training the cat not to scratch the furniture.'

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

Polly txt speak

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"Quick, start the car!"

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

"Hey Lady this is a sixty zone!"

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

'Bert's dog training.'

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

'He's not supposed to go out.'

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

"How long is it since you took Benji for a walk?"

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

Litter Tray Training

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

'Listen Sonny, I don't want or NEED to get to the other side!'

Cat Show

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

Another reason Chihuahuas hate basketball.

"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."

Dog stretching before a walk.

Funky Facts: Monkeys.

"Settle down boy, they're not actual cat-fish."

"I wasn't howling at the moon. I was singing along to my iPod."

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

"Don't even think about it."